I’m not a religious person.
I never talk about the beliefs I do have…I don’t discuss what, who, how I believe. To me, your spiritual beliefs are for you and whatever you do or do not believe in. I may have “your silence will not protect you” tattooed across my flesh…but that is one place I wish everyone in the world would be silent about. Just believe what you believe and go.
So what am I blogging about? Well, I find it very … interesting… amazing…how deeply gospel music touches me. I know that religion is the only thing that got my ancestors through slavery and Jim Crow and the Civil Rights Movement and now. It was so necessary to lean on something larger than us, higher than those who push us down (even though the ones holding us captive gave us this religion to keep us from our full potential.) Gospel music just feels like black music to me, the music to our struggle.
Sometimes I envy those who can just… “put your problems in his hands” and be complete and whole and without worry because they believe that there is one deity taking care of it all.
I don’t have that feeling everyday, but for the brief moments when I stumble into a gospel song on one of my Spotify RnB radio stations.. I feel like a weight is lifted the way I feel a weight is lifted when my grandmother says she prayed for me (bc just because I’m not ride or die with her God..doesn’t mean I don’t need a little extra help if there is help to be had)
Or, maybe gospel music touches me because there are people other than God that I can apply them to.. songs I could have written about my mother or grandmother.
Whatever it is…I’m glad for it. Even if it means I’m sitting on my couch crying to Marvin Sapp….we never would have made it, as a people, without this feeling.